In just a couple of days, all of your wee ones are going to pull out their Bibles before they hit the sack to commence their sugar-plum dreams. And if you're a good parent, you're going to help them make the call to St. Nick.
Hey, these are the Lord's words:
Zechariah 2:6 "Ho, ho, comeforth, and flee from the land of the north, saith the Lord..."
So you have a real Christmas tree this year? It's probably your last year isn't it? I remember the one time we went to cut down a Christmas tree during a storm. The ground was muddy and I fell down while carrying it with my dad.
He was getting frustrated by that point and the guy hefted the tree by himself back to the car. I was pretty embarrassed, but I had to hand it to my dad for his feat of strength.
If you think about it, aren't there so many drawbacks to real trees?
Real trees can drop dry needles. They can dry out, fall over and become fire hazards. They can be homes for insects, spiders and other forest creatures, so adeptly described in the following documentary.
And all because of a real Christmas tree.
But you should know that the Bible hates Christmas trees, at least the real ones. Don't believe me?
Jeremiah 10:3-4 "For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not."
You have to hand it to Habakkuk. The guy lived in some troubled times. Jeremiah and Lehi were likely contemporaries. Think about what they were going through (Jeremiah proclaimed woes upon Jerusalem and Lehi got the heck out of there), and you can imagine Habakkuk's mentality, too.
Though nothing quite describes those times as this gem:
Habakkuk 2:15 "Woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink, that puttest thy bottle to him, and makest him drunken also, that thou mayest look on their nakedness."
Woah, Nellie!
Habakkuk probably doesn't get the praise he deserves for putting the kibosh on that practice. And his book of just three chapters is kind of buried at the end of the Old Testament. But he did get this great statue about 2,000 years later that makes him look like John Malkovich:
Sixty-six books of eternal wisdom: That's what you find in the Holy Bible.
But that's not all. In the 1,590 pages that make up the King James Version of the Bible, there's another kind of wisdom, a playful wisdom. You just have to remove your spiritual glasses.
Put these ones on. Comfy? I thought so. Here's a slightly skewed tour of what you thought you knew of the Scriptures.
