• Misconscriptured: Great Bible verses taken out of context
  • Old-school smackdown: Way, way old-school
  • Had to be there: Stories that get skipped in Sunday School
  • Need to know: Biblically speaking, of course

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Moab: Destined to be slain since 1900 B.C.

Need to know

You know the Bible? Not so kind to Moab.

Take the guy, Moab, for instance. His father, Lot, was also his grandfather. Yikes.

And once the Moabites really got going, it doesn't seem they stood a chance in the Old Testament.

Numbers 21:29
"Woe unto thee, Moab!"

Jeremiah 48:28,38
"O ye that dwell in Moab, leave the cities, and dwell in the rock..."

"There shall be lamentation generally upon all the housetops of Moab, and in the streets thereof: for I have broken Moab like a vessel wherein is no pleasure, saith the Lord."

Ezekiel 25:11
"And I will execute judgments upon Moab; and they shall know that I am the Lord."

Amos 2:2
"But I will send a fire upon Moab..."

Judges 3:29
"And they slew of Moab at that time about ten thousand men, all lusty and all men of valour; and there escaped not a man."

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Best local restaurant

Need to know

Hi. Welcome to Levi's, where our food is banned in the Bible. How many tonight? The wait is about 15 minutes. Would you like to see a menu? (Click on it to see it larger.)

For a list of animals that are approved by Leviticus, a list that includes fish, beef, goats, grasshoppers and "every flying creeping thing that goeth upon all four, which have legs above their feet, to leap withal upon the earth," see:

Leviticus 11
"These are the beasts which ye shall eat among all the beasts that are on the earth..."

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Be glad this one isn't in today's "penal" code

Old-school smackdown

I think there's something to be said for our society's self-defense laws. This rule seems a bit harsh.

Deuteronomy 25:12
"When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets: Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her."

Basically, fellas, if you're getting beat up in a fight, your wife can't help you out.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

A little help here!

Had to be there

One of the reasons I write this blog is to catalog some of the miracles in the Bible that are never explained. Some of them might get a passing mention in Sunday School, but the reason for many of the miracles is lost to us.

Take this one from Elisha:

Elisha and his posse began feeling that the place they were living was too cramped. So they decided to stake out some riverfront property on the Jordan and went to cut down some trees.

As one of them was chopping, the head of his borrowed axe fell into the water.

The lesson here, perhaps, is make sure your axe head is affixed tightly to your axe handle.

The secondary lesson is that if you're going to chop down a tree, take the prophet with you.

2 Kings 6:6
"And the man of God said, Where fell it? And he shewed him the place. And he cut down a stick, and cast it in thither; and the iron did swim."

Anyone have President Monson's e-mail? Tmonson@lds.org doesn't work.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Another joke


Two of the brightest religion students at BYU — a young man and woman — just finished their third date. The young man was eager to finally do some kissing and the young woman, who was waiting for her missionary, not so much.

They agreed to resort to the scriptures for an answer.

The boy found:
1 Thessalonians 5: 26
"Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss."

And the girl replied with:
Mosiah 13:3
"Touch me not, for God shall smite you if ye lay your hands upon me..."