Features

  • Misconscriptured: Great Bible verses taken out of context
  • Old-school smackdown: Way, way old-school
  • Had to be there: Stories that get skipped in Sunday School
  • Need to know: Biblically speaking, of course

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Another joke

Misconscriptured

Two of the brightest religion students at BYU — a young man and woman — just finished their third date. The young man was eager to finally do some kissing and the young woman, who was waiting for her missionary, not so much.

They agreed to resort to the scriptures for an answer.

The boy found:
1 Thessalonians 5: 26
"Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss."

And the girl replied with:
Mosiah 13:3
"Touch me not, for God shall smite you if ye lay your hands upon me..."

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Baby names 2009

Need to know

Still looking for the perfect name for that baby? Can't make up your mind? Too hard to decide whether he'll be named Ethan or Jacob or Michael? Why not go outside the box?

Well, there's a book that can help you pick a unique name that's truly unforgettable. Look no further than the Bible to supply you with names from your wildest dreams.

You want a name that sounds masculine, right?
Why not start with:

Pithon (1 Chronicles 8:35)
Uzzi (1 Chronicles 7:3)
Ram (1 Chronicles 2:10)
Heman (1 Chronicles 15:17)

Maybe you want your son to reach beyond himself and exceed everyone's expectations. Names like this abound in the Good Book:

Non (1 Chronicles 7:27)
Nimrod (Genesis 10: 8-9)
Og (Numbers 21:33)
Zaza (1 Chronicles 2:33)
Madmannah (1 Chronicles 2:49)
Merodach (Jeremiah 50:2)
Evil-merodach (2 Kings 25:27)

Having twins? Don't forget the delightful duo of:

Huppim and Shuppim (1 Chronicles 7:15)

On second thought, please forget all of these names. Don't do this to your kids. Heaven knows what all of these guys went through on the dusty playgrounds of the Old World.