Features

  • Misconscriptured: Great Bible verses taken out of context
  • Old-school smackdown: Way, way old-school
  • Had to be there: Stories that get skipped in Sunday School
  • Need to know: Biblically speaking, of course

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Mighty? Really?

Had to be there

I just never realized it before. I always thought of Dodo as a flightless bird: easily chased, perturbed, bothered and eaten.

1 Chronicles 11:12
"And after him was Eleazar the son of Dodo, the Ahohite, who was one of the three mighties."

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Presidents of the United States and the Bible

Need to know

Six Jameses, four Johns, two Andrews, one Abraham, one Thomas, one Benjamin: 15 men who served as president of the United States and happen to have names found in the Bible.

James, John, Andrew and Thomas were apostles. Abraham was a prophet. And Benjamin was one of Jacob's 12 famous sons.

If we stretch and count Zachary Taylor for Zachariah, a former king of Israel, we have 16.

During today's inauguration ceremony, President Barack Obama will become the 17th president with a name found in the Bible.

Rubbish, you say?

Judges 4-5
"Barak went down from mount Tabor, and ten thousand men after him. And the Lord discomfited Sisera, and all his chariots, and all his host, with the edge of the sword before Barak; so that Sisera lighted down off his chariot, and fled away on his feet."


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Hands off the ark

Old-school smackdown

Remember that scene in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" where Indy is confronted with dozens of goblets and has to choose the Holy Grail from among them? Walter Donovan, the Nazi sympathizer who has followed Indy to the cave, drinks out of a golden cup, which makes him immediately whither to dust.

The Grail Knight, who watches this happen with complete calm, makes the simple statement: "He chose poorly."

So did Uzza, poor Uzza.

King David had this plan to bring the ark of the covenant back to Jerusalem and because he ordered standard ground shipping, Uzza ended up as one of the oxcart drivers who hauled the ark.

1 Chronicles 13:9-10
"And when they came unto the threshingfloor of Chidon, Uzza put forth his hand to hold the ark; for the oxen stumbled. And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzza, and he smote him, because he put his hand to the ark: and there he died before God."

He chose poorly. The lesson here is that if the ark is gonna fall, let it fall!

Two chapters later, perhaps after having studied how the ark moved around in the olden days, David upgraded his carrier.

1 Chronicles 15:2

"Then David said, None ought to carry the ark of God but the Levites: for them hath the Lord chosen to carry the ark of God, and to minister unto him for ever."

Oh yeah. Good to know. Someone should have told Uzza that. Woulda been nice. Better outcome than this:


Sunday, January 4, 2009

The first streak, a winning streak

Misconscriptured

Mark 14:51-52
"And there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him:
And he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked."